{"id":9008,"date":"2018-05-07T15:57:16","date_gmt":"2018-05-07T15:57:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/?p=9008"},"modified":"2020-05-06T20:35:51","modified_gmt":"2020-05-06T20:35:51","slug":"conference-adonis-has-a-bussy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/?p=9008","title":{"rendered":"Digital Tools for Artists: Conference \u2014 Adonis The Bussy Boy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

For my conference I decided to animate a poem of mine.\u00a0 <\/span>It goes like this:<\/span><\/p>\n

Adonis The Bussy Boy!<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I could flay you alive my love<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me step into your skin<\/p>\n

Let me cast you out<\/span><\/p>\n

I deserve the cloak of your lean muscled body<\/span><\/p>\n

I deserve your dick and your chiseled jaw<\/span><\/p>\n

While your consciousness lays<\/span><\/p>\n

Broken on the floor<\/span><\/p>\n

Bleeding out<\/span><\/p>\n

For me<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes in my dreams my breasts fall off<\/span><\/p>\n

I see them rolling on the floor <\/span><\/p>\n

And out of the holes come stars<\/span><\/p>\n

But for now I must suckle and worship you<\/span><\/p>\n

Lean Bodied<\/span><\/p>\n

With the big cock I want<\/span><\/p>\n

Attached to me<\/span><\/p>\n

My Eros<\/span><\/p>\n

I cannot help but look at all of you<\/span><\/p>\n

And wonder if bathing in your blood would make me a true Adonis<\/span><\/p>\n

The Adonis that drinks too much<\/span><\/p>\n

And is eccentric <\/span><\/p>\n

And goes on benders<\/span><\/p>\n

And bends you over<\/span><\/p>\n

And leaves you with big purple love bites<\/span><\/p>\n

I settle with fucking you<\/span><\/p>\n

If I can\u2019t take your body<\/span><\/p>\n

I will have you inside me<\/span><\/p>\n

Your scent will mingle with mine<\/span><\/p>\n

And soft kisses<\/span><\/p>\n

Will replace snatching your skin<\/span><\/p>\n

And the sight of my own eight inch dick.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now that this is here, let me take the poem and video apart for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Title- The title makes reference to Adonis, a man so handsome that Aphrodite fell in live with him and uses the term bussy, a slang term for boy pussy.\u00a0 <\/span>This title proclaims that this man is both handsome and is trans.\u00a0 <\/span>In the trigger warning before the title I mention how the poem and video can be triggering to viewers due to sexual themes and disturbing imagery.\u00a0 <\/span>However I end it with a provocation.\u00a0 <\/span>Throughout my life I have had to prove and defend my identity, and it has become a near reflex.\u00a0 <\/span>The title itself is text following a path, with my legs cut out and with an animated gradient.\u00a0 <\/span>I am wearing fishnets and converse for the following reasons: its a look, it goes against heteronormativity, and fishnets have a long history if being associated with sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Stanza One- This stanza is about the experience of sleeping with someone for the following reasons: because you want to look like him and because you\u2019re sexually attracted to him.\u00a0 <\/span>However you can\u2019t let anyone but yourself know this because you\u2019re still stuck in the closet.\u00a0 <\/span>This experience is violent.\u00a0 <\/span>In the video I have cut up the lines of this stanza, and have timed them so they flow across the screen a different speeds and times.\u00a0 <\/span>I use a fractal with color changes to keep time to the music.\u00a0 <\/span>In addition I have looped four rotating peaches and included a distorted video of me cutting up a kiwi.\u00a0 <\/span>This is a play and take on the word\/ slur \u201cfruit\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>I am a fruit cutting up a fruit and the peaches amplify that.\u00a0 <\/span>My goal with the kiwis was to disturb viewers so they can understand the bare minimum of my experience.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"ScreenStanza Two- This stanza is a reference to my future chest, but in the past it was just a distant dream and how to the man I was sleeping with, they were beautiful while I found them horrific.\u00a0 <\/span>In the video I use a noise and particle effect to create the idea of the cosmos and over this I used a series of flashing images that represent sexual intimacy (I have taken inspiration for the later episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion).\u00a0 <\/span>This section to me reads as the \u201cbody\u201d section.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a> \"Screen<\/a>Stanza Three- In this stanza I make it explicit that I desire this man as a man would and how if he recognized that and\/ or I was out as one, the experience would have been one of mutual power in addition to one of sexual gratification and validation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stanza Four-\u00a0 <\/span>The final stanza is me accepting that in this encounter, this man will never see me as a man, so instead I settle with being physically animate with him, which is what I want, while recognizing that I need to transition.<\/span><\/p>\n

For stanzas three and four in the video I incorporate them both over a video of myself that my current boyfriend took.\u00a0 <\/span>In the video he asks me to draw certain things and we talk.\u00a0 <\/span>The video represents my present: I am an out gay and trans man with a partner that loves and respects me as I respect him.\u00a0 <\/span>The text however represents the past but is also a declaration of my resilience and happiness to it.\u00a0 <\/span>Within this section I incorporate the pink triangle and a double mars symbol, both symbols of gay identity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

This piece feels like a baby to me.\u00a0 <\/span>It is a symbol of my masculinity and vulnerability.\u00a0 <\/span>It marks a point in my evolution as an artists and person and is a reminder for how far I\u2019ve come.\u00a0 <\/span>Also if you\u2019re the dude from this past encounter and reading this: I lusted and had sex with you as a man, and even though I was closeted, you can\u2019t take that away from me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For my conference I decided to animate a poem of mine.\u00a0 It goes like this: Adonis The Bussy Boy! I wish I could flay you alive my love Let me step into your skin Let me cast you out I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":190,"featured_media":9017,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[263],"tags":[287,50],"class_list":["post-9008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-digital-tools-for-artists","tag-digital-tools-for-artists-2","tag-conference","wpcat-263-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/190"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9008"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9008\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14033,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9008\/revisions\/14033"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9017"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astoryisnotatree.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}