Diary Forms: The Fight to Focus

My project is in the form of audio recordings on a computer played out loud on speakers. There are three separate audio recordings of me reading passages from three Jewish novels and one article on community psychology with the choruses of the songs “Certainty” by Big Thief, “Fuck and Run” by Liz Phair, and WAP by Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B randomly playing loudly, interrupting the reading audio recordings. My project is incredibly irritating and overwhelming to listen to and likely headache-inducing.

I created my project to document my daily struggles with ADHD when trying to do or focus on anything (specifically reading). My goal in creating this project was to allow the audience to experience the frustration and difficulty caused by ADHD. My intention was to allow neurotypical people to experience the struggles of those who are neurodivergent firsthand. I also wanted to accurately represent those who share the same struggles as me, and make them feel seen and understood.

This project is personal to me because it is representative of my own struggles with Attention Deficit Hyper-Active Disorder. I was diagnosed with ADHD at ten years old and have been on and off medications ever since. I am currently very reliant on medication and cannot function properly without it, so my project reflects my experience of being off medication. My ADHD has always made everyday tasks, especially school very difficult for me as I struggle to focus and take a long time to get things done because of the constant, overwhelming, distracting noise filling my mind. Specifically, this school year my classes have been extremely heavy on reading, which has become increasingly frustrating and time-consuming because I cannot focus on what I am reading. For example, I will often read an entire page but not comprehend a single sentence because my mind is so occupied by a million other thoughts, whether that be anxieties, song lyrics, or things I need to do that day.

Author: Claire Brodie